I am quite new to the blogging scene and it took me a while to get the courage to write. I hope it will get better....
I publish an extract from a letter received from a friend and my response. Maybe there is something in it for all of us to discuss.
From my friend:
As to my testimony: I mentioned in my book and will say again: I make no apologies to anyone for burning out, for failing to always have the victory, for often struggling to enjoy my Christian life, or even for outright depression. These in my view represent the "great price" part of possessing the Pearl of Great Price. I don't think it's possible, for me anyway, to be delivered from the pains of the flesh while still dwelling in it.
So yes, I also boast in my infirmities, not because I have been delivered from them, but because they humble me and lead me to dependence on God's grace. Then I seek God earnestly and rejoice in God's presence for a while. Then I invariably slip right back into headaches, responsibilities, carnal temptations and worldly distractions. Then I seek God once more. And
so on. This is the best I can do with who I am at present. If, as you mentioned, the point is not for me to become a better person, but rather to learn to appreciate the value of weakness to lead me nearer to God, then all is well.
On the other hand, if you (or your book) can show me how to live as if my flesh virtually did not exist, I'm all ears. But then, even if I were to become thoroughly spiritual and thoroughly connected to Christ, would I lose my connection with ordinary sinners and my compassion for the spiritually infirm?
That's something else to consider.
My answer:
I believe that Paul could say, I don't live anymore but Christ lives through me, because he had discovered what he calls, 'the resurrection from the dead while in the body' (Phil 3 A.V.). It is when we allow Jesus to live His life through us that we can walk away from the condemnation and pain that flow from our infirmities. We will learn how to rejoice in them because then the power of Christ's life is seen through this earthen vessel. We are always delivered to death for Christ's sake, so we know what it means when death works in us so that life can work in others. We know that when we are weak and suffering, the earthen vessel is shattered and the real treasure is revealed - the life of Another in us!
Through this death grace abounds to others and glory abounds to God and His glory is the most important motivation of our lives, especially when we are not in the flesh but in the Spirit. This is why we can say with Paul, 'this light affliction which is but for a moment is working for us an exceeding and eternal glory...' and therefore we never lose hope and 'count it all joy when we face various trials, knowing that.......' It is in the end the knowledge of the glory of God that motivates us to allow this earthly vessel to shatter. But there must come a time when it has shattered and the life of Jesus is shining through despite of our brokenness, or rather because of our brokenness. This is when the life of Jesus will become a fountain of life for those who want to drink. We will not be perfect - Paul said that he hadn't attained or been perfected but we can press on to lay hold of the prize of the upward call.....living the life of Jesus..... for which we have been laid hold of.
This process will never move us away from the people who are broken and shattered because we can't reach this place without understanding and celebrating our own brokenness and weakness. Once celebrated, it becomes a reality and a motivation for worship that brings glory to Him. It is a full circle that starts with the shattering of the earthly vessel and ends with the spreading of the grace that causes thanksgiving and worship to ascend from a much wider circle of people who are beholding the work of a sovereign Lover in us.
We can only really love those who are broken when we are healed and loved and are able to relate to them not in sympathy but in divine love. Therefore the vessel has to break before it can love because divine love can only flow through us when it is the love of Jesus, untainted by our pride and the prejudice of our fleshly need for acceptance and love. Free at last from the confines of our deep rejection and self hatred.

Henry Nouwen has taught me that patience is a discipline and not a gift. Just like fasting or meditation – it is something that we can practice and get better at. We have two impulses that are part of our normal reaction to our world – we either want to flee or fight. Translate that into our spiritual development and it sounds something like this: We want to put our faith either in hiding away from the problem or in controlling and solving the problem. Both these actions - keeping quiet and fighting for what we believe is ours, lead us away from the cross and into our own solutions. Both are totally insufficient as solutions to our problems and usually cause just bigger problems.
There is a third option – faith in the Lord’s sovereign faithfulness. This option leads to the cross – not my will but Your will be done, and to a place of waiting on Him. This is the place of blessing and where our strength is renewed like that of an eagle. This is the place of patience. Patience does not mean that we just submit to adverse circumstances, neither does it mean that we hide from confronting the problems. It does not mean that we become doormats or submit to evil – it is something that we see in the life of Jesus – He waited patiently for the time to come to fullness, but He acted when he saw the Father move to clear the Temple. During that time of waiting, he was sustained by the Spirit in Him – like Paul describes it in Rom 8 – when we don’t know how to pray then the Spirit comes to our aid – now we know that all things work together for good…
Adverse circumstances and pressure can either break us or teach us the principle of faith working through patience. To just stand there in the pressure of your job, waiting on God to see what he is going to do, is very difficult because of the way we think and because of the pressure of the world, but learning to wait on Him, is what the Christian life is all about – waiting especially not for Him to resolve our issues, but to do what he wants to do through a particular set of circumstances that he had engineered lovingly to get us to a place where he can answer our prayers for spiritual growth.
Our new man is like a path hidden under autumn leaves – it is there but at times not seen at all. The spiritual disciplines are the broom that clears the path – to reveal what is already there. The correct reaction to the pressure is there in you – the revelation that will set you free has been given because Christ is in you, you need to sweep the path to let it become evident in your life.
This is where the choice comes in – are we choosing to run, to fight or to wait in faith? Where do we put our faith – in hiding, in controlling or in the cross?
This choice is a continual battle and a journey and all that we can pray for t is that we will eventually get better at it.
So what am I saying? When you are feeling swamped, it may be a sign that he is answering your prayer for spiritual growth by allowing circumstances in your life that will produce growth if you can learn to patiently wait for Him. This will correspond with what James wrote – count it all joy….
Remember, patience is a discipline – no discipline is easy, but the Holy Spirit will help if we ask Him.
What did Forrest Gump say? “S-H-I-T happens”. It does – we have to learn how to be serene in the midst of it – that is the reason why things sometimes do not get better and our prayers seem not to be answered.